“Be aware of “yes” men. Generally, they are losers. Surround yourself with winners. Never forget – people win.” Paul William “Bear” Bryant

The football mind, like most minds, wants and seeks to fit in with an accepting group, to be respected by its peers and to be generally liked. This is what is known as seeking “social approval” and it is something most people crave.

The ability to cultivate and sustain a strong football mental game, brimming with football confidence, can prove to be challenging for many modern day athletes of all levels. This is especially true when referring to young athletes.

When an athlete learns to become dependent on receiving positive feedback from others, for the purpose of obtaining their football confidence, it weakens their ability of generating self- belief. That is, the belief in themselves, to overcome adversity on the field and win. This frequently translates into the athlete not performing to their highest ability brought on from their weak mental game.

When an athlete’s own perception is that their abilities are not respected by others, they are already treading a slippery slope, resulting in a loss of their self-confidence.

Emotional composure (the proverbial “cool head”), which is needed when an athlete is under pressure, can be directly linked to the need for social approval.

If an athlete allows their emotions to get the better of them they will spend their time worrying about what others might think and they will quickly find that their decision making, their mental game and their overall performance will be negatively affected.

In these situations it is not uncommon for the rest of the team’s ability to perform to also be adversely affected.

Apart from the direct need athletes have for social approval from their teammates and coaches they are now also scrutinized more than ever before by other third parties.

Technology now provides an instant global platform for virtually anyone to immediate dissect, analyse and share their opinion on all aspects of an athlete’s game (and sometimes their personal life too). This has resulted in athletes having to deal with substantially more criticism, which is also easily and quickly accessible to them.

When an athlete constantly works on nurturing their ability to disallow their football mind to be impacted by others’ opinions about their performance, they will simultaneously be fostering a stronger football mental game.

In terms of football psychology, the athlete that also exercises their mental game in football will have a distinct competitive edge come game time over any athlete that does not.

It is easy falling into a vicious cycle of worrying about what others think and then under performing as a result.

The below methods can be taught to and then used by the athlete to combat the negative effects of needing social approval:
– Developing self-confidence.
– Surrounding your-self with inspirational and positive role models.
– Learning how to work through the moments of self-doubt and negative thoughts.
– Accepting that you cannot always control what happens to you but rather you can control and choose how to respond to any situation.
– Understanding your emotions in any given moment and choosing how to respond or using the emotions to their advantage. – Taking ownership of your confidence by not allowing external circumstances to impact your self-image.

“If you truly expect to realize your dreams, abandon the need for blanket approval. If conforming to everyone’s expectations is the number one goal, you have sacrificed your uniqueness, and therefore your excellence.” – Hope Solo

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