“Winning isn’t getting ahead of OTHERS. It’s getting ahead of YOURSELF.” Roger Staubach

Being a people pleaser can be very stressful.

Often athletes put on themselves undue pressure to seek approval from others.

It forces an athlete to fulfill someone else’s agenda instead of his/her own.

It can cause constant worry, procrastination, underachievement, and mental game anxiety.

You often find athletes who are perfectionists have excessive anxiety because they are afraid to fail in competition; eventually, they underperform on the football field.

Does This Sound Like You?

The reason why being an approval seeker can be so stressful is because it arises from both wanting to do well and a fear of failure. It becomes a problem when it causes anxiety, affects your football confidence, causes you to procrastinate, and holds you back from achieving the success that you want.

Approval seeking can contribute to the desire to be perfect.

One of the biggest pushes towards perfectionism is the need to always “get it right.

You continually push yourself to do well. This type of pressure to always perform well can leave you in an anxious state of mind. Eventually, the fear of failure starts to creep in,

The Impact of Approval Seeking Mindset

Constant approval-seeking can affect decision making because you become so concerned about making the right decision and worry about the consequences of making the wrong choice.

It can stop you from developing new skillsets because you are afraid to fail.

It can hold you back from going after what you really want because you are full of self-doubt and feel insecure.

You can spend hours, stressing, and trying to perfect a new skill, only to find that the effort that you have put in has not been recognized.

Rather than take risks, you start doing what you’re comfortable with, even if it no longer serves you.

The Psychology behind Approval Seeking

Having an understanding of your underlying beliefs that cause you to want and need social approval will help you break free from that mindset.

Challenge those beliefs and change your thought patterns to ones that are going to help rather than hinder you.

Being told that you’re not good enough and that you will never amount to anything can impact your self-belief, and you end up believing that you are not good enough and continually seek approval.

Learn To Accept Yourself

There are many aspects to you, some things you are good at, some things that you aren’t so good at, and some things that you have no control over.

Accepting these rather than beating yourself up about them is more helpful for you.

Being an approval seeker can be very stressful, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

Accept yourself for who you are.

Celebrate all your fantastic achievements.

Recognize when good is good enough and that it is OK to not always get things “right,” you are, after all, “only human.”

Starting from now, stop worrying about what others think about you. Develop your mental game skills using the above basketball psychology strategies. And start reaping the benefits for you.

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