“We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don’t disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms.” Paulo Coelho, Aleph

Research has revealed a few common patterns of behavior when it comes to grieving. They are:

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

If you feel any of these emotions after losing a loved one, you should know that this reaction is normal and that you will heal with time.

You may also feel complex and unexpected emotions, from anger or shock to guilt, disbelief, and immense emptiness.

The pain may manifest in physical ways too.

It can affect your sports performance and mental well-being, making it hard to focus, stay in the moment, and reach optimal performance on the court.

Usually, the more significant the loss, the more severe your grief will be.

Tips to help you stay mentally tough while you grieve.

#1 Set goals and move towards them

Often, it can seem impossible to move on after losing someone close to you.

The pain can be overwhelmingly intense, but it doesn’t mean things won’t get better with time.
It’s vital that you set up small attainable goals each day. Remember to have definite time frames for them. Try writing them down and following your advancement on each one. When you start seeing progress on your objectives, it may motivate you to move forward.

However, it is essential to avoid vague goals like “being happy” instead, try focusing on more attainable goals for the day or week. The more specific the goal, the higher your chances of success and regaining happiness.

#2 Take care of yourself

Self-care is a crucial tool for regaining mental toughness, and it helps keep your mind and body healthy enough to address complex situations when they occur.

Self-care requires paying attention to your mental wellness, personal feelings, and needs and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

#3 Stay hopeful

Focusing on the sadness creates a feedback loop that intensifies sad emotions. Try and stay hopeful.

This is easier said than done. But, it can help you heal and maintain a proper sports mindset to help you return to play even better. You could try doing what makes you happy, remembering the good times, finding ways to honor your loss, or talking to friends and family.

It may be even more helpful to visit someone with whom you share the loss. Who knows? You may even share a laugh together.

Remember

Carrying on after losing a loved one might seem impossible, but these tips should help you establish a resilient mindset – and attitude to help you work through the pain.

It takes time.

And to some degree, you’ll never stop grieving. But that doesn’t mean you won’t find peace and happiness.

If you need help through your loss, please don’t hesitate to contact a mental health professional in your area or me.

We all need help sometimes.

To acknowledge vulnerability doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It shows you want to remain strong.

Let’s connect at dr.dcoffey@gmail.com so that I can help you on your journey to healing.