When you ask someone how they’re doing, do you really mean it? When you answer someone back on how you’re doing, are you really telling the truth? We live in a society of social networks and Twitter pages and Facebook. That’s fine and stuff, but we have contact with our work associates, our family, our friends, and it seems like half the time we’re more preoccupied with our phone and other things going on instead of the actual relationships we have in front of us. Hopefully people can learn from this and try to actually figure out if someone is battling something deeper on the inside than what they may be revealing on a day-to-day basis.”
Kansas City Chiefs Quarterback Brady Quinn

The Kansas City Chiefs experienced a tragic blow this month with the murder-suicide of linebacker Jovan Belcher and his girlfriend Kasandra Perkins. Head coach Romeo Crennel rallied his team to a victory the following Sunday, breaking an eight game losing streak, but the road through the grief process will continue to be difficult in the upcoming weeks and months.

Any severe loss or emotional trauma cause grieving phases that affects individuals uniquely. The Chiefs must continue to come together to experience these stages of the grief process to fully heal emotionally before they can regain true football mental toughness as a team.

Sports psychology in football stresses the need for focus to be in a positive mindset. The Chiefs must continue to deal with the tremendous sadness of the horror of losing their teammate, but also the violence he left in his wake, orphaning his three month old daughter Zoey. Searching for something positive may feel impossible given the circumstances, but it is essential for healing to occur. It is crucial that these players and coaches to communicate the emotions they are feeling, rather than burying and trying to ignore them.

Unresolved angst is physically debilitating and will later cause a complete inability to maintain focus. The first priority for these players is to find a way to express their emotions, and communicate them with someone else. Facilitate others to talk about their feelings too. Just as Brady Quinn said in his press conference after their winning game, make a priority to truly connect with others and communicate their thoughts. It is also wise to seek out professional help to learn methods to deal with the grief process. This is a preventative attitude that alleviates future emotional problems that hinder the rebuilding of a strong football mind.

Another way that players can find a positive outlook is to concentrate their energy on communicating the problems of domestic violence, and offer support to others who may seek counseling or help for their difficulties at home or with relationships. Our society offers little voice to the issues of domestic violence until there is a gruesome tragedy making the headlines.

Sports journalist Jamele Hill advocated the need for professional athletes to acknowledge the growing domestic violence issue, “It shouldn’t take another tragedy for the sports world to realize it has a responsibility to promote healthier attitudes toward women or for it to make stemming violence toward women a high priority. Because silence won’t accomplish anything.”

Finding a platform to support and help others is a method to reframe focus toward the future. The Chiefs players were left feeling helpless, but finding a purpose to redirect and regain control of their thoughts is extremely powerful to restoring overall mental toughness.

Finally, it will be helpful for the players to show camaraderie and offer support in the place they are most comfortable; the football field. Keeping focus on the present task at hand, whether it is running the route correctly or making the tackle, allows for a safe place, void of the rampant emotions in the outside world. The Chiefs must come together as a team to finish their season well, but also as a team facilitate healing for the players and coaches.

Quinn also stated these thoughts about how he feels the team did handle the game the following Sunday, and how they plan to continue the healing process. “So it was kind of tough to step back and kind of gain focus of what the task was in front of us. More than anything else, I think as a player, we just want to try to come together a team and try to bring some good to the situation…bring glory to the situation whenever you can in this kind of matter.”